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| Very unnecessary outfit deets but I'm gonna do it anyway...bahahaha! Jeans - Lucky Jeans (can't get it here, only from the U.S.A) Cardi - Cotton On Floral Tee - from New Look Walkies - Converse Bag - Gucci Shades - Charles & Keith |
Kathleen Kelly: No, I know what you mean, and I'm completely jealous! What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said. What should I have said, for example, to a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existence?
Kathleen Kelly: Nothing. Even now, days later, I can't figure it out.
Joe Fox: Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you? And then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time, and we'd both be happy. But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.
- Dialogue from the movie, You've Got Mail
So I decided to start this post with a dialogue adapted from my all-time favourite romantic comedy, You've Got Mail. This movie was way back in bloody 1998 and I still watch it on my DVD player almost monthly! Crazy bitch. Hahahaha! But I love it! I love everything about the movie - from the storyline, to the witty dialogue, to the setting of the movie, to Meg Ryan's oh-so-innocent character that I hate her for it. I have always wished to own a nice lil' bookstore like the one in the movie - with teak wood furnishings filled with tonnes and tonnes of children's books. Ahhh...the dream!
And for those of you who had listened to music from the 90's - the period when we had icky boy bands and girl bands messing up our minds with their lame music and shoving their lyrics of hopeless love up our nostrils so you breathed boy and girl band. Ok...I admit, I listened to some of them and just last night, while doing my crunches, I had All Saints' - Never Ever plugged into my ears. Hence, the title of this post.
Put two and two together, the title and the dialogue of this post, if you have not managed to guess what my post is about by now then...WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST TWO MINUTES IDIOT??!!!
You know sometimes, people can really be a pain-in-the-ass to you. Let's call these people Asshole for now. Right? And they start stalking shit about you, coin' shit to you and you wished you had said or done something to give it back to them, right at their faces. But I often get myself stuck in a situation where my tongue is tied and my left brain tells me to play it cool...and like Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side chanted 'Sticks and stones...sticks and stones'. And then when the entire situation is over, I lie in bed at night, tossing and turning, playing the entire episode in my head again but this time, ok...I'm gonna go Ally Mcbeal on this - I'd be screaming back shit at my attacker, grabbing Asshole by the neck and shoving all kinds of vulgarities and shovin' your-mama-is-so-fat insults down his or her throat. Yeh...'conversations' in my mind bro. That's what I'm talking' about. Give it right back to Asshole...in my mind. Ohhhh...the satisfaction. Then, I go to bed...wake up the next morning...get on with life...and quite possibly replay how I would zing Asshole again in my mind for the neXt few nights. Then that's it, nobody gets hurt.
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| Owl Tee - Cotton On Jeans - Lucky Jeans Kaki Outer Shirt - H&M Shades - Charles & Keith Walkies - Rubi |
But I have had moments when I allowed my tongue to lash out and my temper to get the better of me. And then I say or do things I regret almost immediately. I chide myself for that! I am sure others don't feel bad after they do shit to people...then why do I have to feel so bad??? WHY??? Why can't I just zing it and then feel awesome about it after that? WHY??!!!
Song playing in my head now...
'Flexin' vocabulary runs right through me, the alphabets run right from A to Z. Conversations hesitations in my mind, you got my conscience askin' questions that I can't find. I'm not crazy. I'm sure I ain't nothin' wrong. No. I'm just waiting. 'Cos I'm sure that this feeling won't last that long.' - All Saints, Never Ever
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| M.U.M.M.Y.J.A.S |
I could make a list of people who fall in the Asshole-category in my life. It would be a very long list. And don't be surprise if you should spot your name in it! Hahahahaha! Oh man, you must so hate me right now yeh? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok, chill CHILL! Just recently, I have had one of these dam assholes writin' crap about me...WRITING! She wrote! Yeh...it's a SHE...beware...BITCH MODE ON! When I found out, my mind immediately went into &*^%$#@ mode and so picture me...yes...ME...lashing all kinds of vulgarities at her and on top of that, I directed how I would make my black-belt karate moves on her...sadly...IN MY MIND. Yup...in my mind again because left brain had decided that thou shalt not confront Asshole but take a step back, breathe and let it go. And for your information, I hate the song Let It Go. Each time a kid belts it and I happen to be within earshot, I feel like squashing the irritating munchkin into a pancake.
Ok...back to my story. Are you still with me?
Sad to say, I smiled when my friend read out what was written about me for all to see. I accepted it graciously, on the surface that is. I'm not gonna repeat what was really going on in my head. Yeh, so I am beginning to think that my left brain overpowers my right brain a lot. It's constantly holding me back and telling me to think before I act. And so I guess Assholes are generally powered by their right brains and I DO envy them. I have always been told that I should be patient that I will be duly rewarded for my patience. Yes yes...that is all fine and dandy. But I also want to say that being patient and doing the right thing is the ideal. And the ideal? It's not always easy to achieve. We're only human...the stupidest and weakest and most complicated species on the planet. We are PATHETIC. Now picture a monkey laughing at you in your face at this time. It is not always easy to DO THE RIGHT THING!!!! So flip the page and it'll scream right at you that the ones who always manage to achieve the IDEAL are the ones who have achieved 'sainthood'. How many of such people are there? Yeh, countable.
So, I got a message for you people on my A-list...if there is such a thingas The Purge here, you better run baby. 'Cos I ain't gonna play it all in my mind no more. I'm comin' for you and I'll be sure to tick you off my list once I am done with you.
HAVE A GOOD ONE Y'ALL and please...keep it real k!
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