A Blog by Jaslina Yassin: I WANNA QUIT MY 'FULL-TIME' JOB

Admit it. You decided to read this post because its title dug right through your curiosity-vein and you couldn't help it. You never used to read my blogposts because they weren't interesting enough for you. But this time, it's screaming' in your head, 'SHE'S GONNA QUIT HER JOB!' and you wanna know if I am for real this time.

GOTCHAAAAA!!!

Don't be embarrassed. Tell yourself, you are ONLY human.

First, let me start by sharing with you what my FULL-TIME job is. I work 24 hours round the clock. No I don't work at Mustafa Shopping Centre. I don't work at 7 Eleven either. Lame. I know. But hey...you're still reading my post! Ah hah! Gotcha again!

Ok...back to the real thing. I am a Mum of a 4-year old, a wife to an awesome other half, a daughter to two pretty challenging old folks and an elder sister to a sister who is still swinging' single and enjoying life. Oh...yes...I almost forgot. I work too. So...now...YOU tell me...do I work 24 hours round the clock? Hell yeah! And sometimes, I don't remember to catch my breath because 24 hours take everything out of me.

M . U . M . M . Y . J . A . S

There never is a moment's rest. If I do appear to sit and do nothing, my brain's doing all the work. I will be thinking about what to cook for the family for the weekend; how am I going to carry out the next assignment given to me at work; the serious conversation I need to have with my son after I get up; bills; money; car; house; my canon printer that has already conked out on me and when can I get it repaired so that I can continue with my scrapbooking again and the list goes ON AND ON AND ON!!! It never ends, my body never rests.

I go to work and where there is a lot of effort put in for well-being of staff, let's be honest now - where there are communities of individuals infested with their own responsibilities and targets to meet, what well-being is there? It's a dog-eat-dog world out there bro! The strong conquers the weak; evil manipulates; the ambitious look down on the non-ambitious; I say we are friends but when it comes to work, you are in your turf and I am in mine. RIGHT? Oh come on, you know I am right. They always try to coat the maggot-infested cake with sugar icing but at the end of the day, you go home with the maggots in your mouth.

Ok, at this point, some of you wanna click on the 'close window' icon because you totally disagree with me. BUT you decide to hide the window instead because you wanna come back and finish reading what you started. You wanna know what I have to say. Again, don't reproach yourself. Chant to yourself ' i-am-only-human-i-am-only-human-i-am-only-human'. I am sneering right now at you. Kekekekekeke!

I do.

I wanna quit. I wanna quit my 24-hour job. I wanna sit and do nothing. No. I don't even wanna sit. I wanna do NOTHING. I don't even wanna do anything for myself. I JUST WANNA DO NOTHING.

Sad to say, this thought never lasts and therefore will never manifest unless I die.

Oh.

That's not true. I'd be a fool to think that I will get to do nothing after I die. But, I shall not dwell into that right now. Maybe later.

For now, I can't quit. Because then the 'Albert' in my brain will reign over 'Rex' and sense and sensibility will start to kick in and then I will shake it off and resume my 24-hour job. You must be wondering who the hell is Albert and Rex. Google Andrew Fuller and you'll find out. But really, you don't have to know who they are. That's not important.

I can't quit because I know that at the end of the day, I have a purpose in what I do.
I have a family.

And if ever someone says to me in my face 'SO JUST QUIT AND BE DONE WITH IT!' I am gonna scream right back at 'yer 'I CAN'T BECAUSE MY FAMILY NEEDS ME!'

But the truth is...I need them. I feed on their love and their comfort they provide. I feed on their laughter, their irritating habits, their nonsense, their unconditional love, their endless presence, their sacrifices. Yes. I feed on them. I hate it sometimes but I love it most times.

I work in a maggot-infested world. But when I come home, I leave the maggots out the door and I bask in family-love and comfort. I know that for everything I do for my family, it's worth my every breath and my every drop of energy. I know that while my body never stops screaming for rest, my soul is strong spirited for the people I love and for the people who love me.

I will.

I will quit.

I WILL quit my job one day - which is really only part of my 'full-time' job. Maybe I will quit tomorrow. Maybe next week or next month. Who knows? When I do, you'll be the first I'll tell and I'll never disappoint you again like I have disappointed you now. Heheh.

But I will never quit being a mum, a wife, a daughter, a sister and for as long as I get to live... a servant of God. Where I begin to stray and forget, I pray I come back to my senses and remember that God has given me a purpose to my life and I have to work it.

That's all there is to this post.

Have a good life!

And ... Peace Be Upon You